I DID NOT SHOW THEM WHO I AM
Rounding the bend and coming up on the winter break,
and one more week of class. This week in our Leadership and Media Strategies
Communication course. I learned that I am supposed to be here. I feel this way
at an educational level. I fought to become a graduate student. It took me 16
years to obtain a bachelor’s degree, which I obtain back in 2016. Now, I could
have gone directly to graduate school, but I felt I was not supposed to be in
graduate school. However, at a professional level I feel like I have yet to
show my leadership at my job who I really am. For years I have made myself
smaller to not make others feel small. This is something I discussed in week four
of this leadership course on my professional blog, titled Lollipop, Poison, and
Leadership. “I have the worst posture. It is
something I deal with daily. The pain of my back hurting because I slouch. I
realized early on when I started slouching. I was in the fifth grade and my
teacher gave me a compliment in front of the class. During lunch that day
instead of being on a high from being singled out by my teacher and given a
compliment. I was instead bullied and made fun of and was called a teacher’s
pet etc. That day I started physically shrinking to make myself smaller. From
that day up until about a few months ago. I have always been afraid of what
people thought of me. I never wanted to outshine a person, even if that meant
dummying myself down to not offend others. My fear was that I would make
someone else feel bad if my light shined a little bit brighter than others.
However, the funny thing about light, it will do what it is made to do and that
is shine.”
This week we began to evaluate strategic
communication campaigns. How does one measure the success of a public relation campaign.
The phrase, you are, what you eat, never really made sense to me as a small
child. I think I was in the first grade when I first heard it. I thought there
is no way that I am a piece of celery. However, then when I got older and started
taking classes like physical education, health, and nutrition in high school
that is when I really began to understand what the phrase really meant. What
you put physically, mentally, and emotionally into your body becomes a part of
you. I believe this is what we learned this week about when companies invest in
their businesses, it being a part of their brand. From learning how body
language can affect our mental health and self-confidence. To learning about
how company’s want a return on their investment, or ROI. Anytime a person or a company
is poured into, the pourer is going to want something in return. Whether it is investors
pouring assets like money into your company or brand. Those investors want to
know they did not waste money on you. If someone is pouring money into you, or pouring
it into you emotionally, they want to make sure you are going to pay it
forward, and that is how they are filled back up. This is how customer satisfaction
is measured. Hiring and retaining employees also falls into this group.
When I receive an email from my
direct manager for some reason I always feel as if I have done something wrong.
Now, I now understand how extremely hard myself and my team works. However, it
is still a feeling I have not yet been able to shake this feeling. I am
learning it has something to do with Having power, verses feeling powerful. Typically,
when I arrive in her office, or reply to an email, it is nothing that I have
done wrong. It is typically a directive, or something that needs to be discussed
with the company. My direct boss has this phrase that makes me feel so small
and my body tightens up every time I hear it. “Just get it done”. My -entire
body tightens up and I try hard not to roll my eyes or show any body language
of defeat. I believe this week it was described as a Non-Verbal expression of
power and dynamic. Now she is not towering over me, but the way she delivers
her “Just get it done” she might as well be. After a lot of therapy and self-talk
I am learning this is how I see myself. I believed this week it was described
as Non-verbal governs how we think and feel about ourselves. This week I did
something I typically don’t do I watched a reality Television show. I decided
to watch two episodes of my 600-pound life. Now I do not watch reality shows,
and rarely watch Television. However, since I do have three jobs, three
children, and a husband, this is the way the family wanted to spend family
time. Now, both episodes started out the same with two obese individuals
struggling to get accepted into a famous doctor’s weight loss program. Getting accepted
to this program would allow them to get this weight loss surgery and they then
would lose weight and then live the life they wanted. The first episode was
about a gentleman who wore eight hundred and ninety-two pounds. This gentleman had
a lot of barriers, but he fought hard to keep the weight off and was accepted
into the program and eventually received the weight loss surgery. Now, the
second family the lady weighed in at over six hundred pounds and was told to
only lose fifty pounds in order to be accepted into the program in order to be scheduled
for the surgery. Unfortunately, this lady had too many excuses and enablers
that she eventually was denied the doctor’s care and never received the doctor’s
surgery. This lady eventually died of her weight and eating habits. According to
Dan Gilbert’s 2005 TED Talk we are the only species on earth that holds their
fate in their hands.
Gilbert, D. (2005, JULY). TED. Retrieved from
TED TALK: https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_why_we_make_bad_decisions
Thomas, J. (2022, November 12). Blogger. Retrieved
from Jantel'z TaleZ Exploring Leadership and Communication Strategies:
https://jantelztalez.blogspot.com/2022/11/lollipops-poison-and-leadership.html
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