Living The Dream Through the Eyes of An Invisible Leader

 

I was recently told that I have not been in leadership long enough to be promoted to Senior Director of Operations. This came after I had an interview with our company’s Chief Executive Officer and Chief Operating Officer. I did a post interview discussion with the Chief Operating Officer and was told this. I walked away feeling discouraged and defeated. However, I was not sad, or disappointed in myself. I was proud, proud that I had thrown my hat in the ring to be considered. However, I did want a plan, and I needed to know what was next for me. The reason I was not sad was because I love my team of ten amazing employees as family. Not being promoted meant I was able to continue to lead them. However, I still felt that there was more, there is another reason I was not considered. This week in my Leadership and Media Strategies course we dove deeper into leadership versus management. Prior to this week I thought they were the same. Walking away from this week I now understand that leadership, management, and hierarchy are all related, but all very different.  I have tried for the past four years to have enough courage to lead my team even when I disagree with directives, policy changes, or changes in law.

               According to Marianne Schnall, “Black women’s leadership isn’t just about their strength and perseverance. It’s about how consistently they show up and fight for the common good. Whether Black women are narrowing the wealth gap, fighting for free and fair elections or gearing up to assume one of the highest offices in the nation, when Black women lead, we all win.” (Schnall, 2020) As a child I never felt seen by my teachers, people I thought who were important, police officers, or people in position of authorities. I even thought if a crime was committed in my home or the area I lived in, I did not think the police would come because we were black. Now that I am an adult, I still feel the same. I do not feel like people in positions of authority value my opinion, what matters to me or the things that matter to my family, or things that matter to people that look like me. Before, during, and after the pandemic there was a sort of movement that started saying that people whose skin was black or brown, the movement started telling the worlds that their lives mattered. I was confused because I never felt that my life mattered as a black/brown person. This movement seemed to anger people. The movement seemed to make people feel like their lives did not matter because the people that were black or brown were uniting and saying their lives mattered. This had awakened that little girl in me. This made me feel like people of authority and leadership would not help her when she needed them. This movement made me feel like those people are now angry and would not come to save us. What I now know is that we must save ourselves. I read a report that black, brown, and other women of color are among the most educated group. “According to findings compiled in a study by the National Center For Education Statistics, Black women have been obtaining degrees at a consistently high rate for the last eight years and counting. Information collected about the higher education among African Americans between 2009 and 2010 shows that Black women accounted for 68 percent of associate degrees, 66 percent of bachelor’s degrees, 71 percent of master’s degrees and 65 percent of doctorate degrees awarded to Black students during that time frame.” (Davis, 2020)

               When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher, then a police officer, and I eventually became a social worker. I have worked in banking, retail, and the food services. My dream was to always help others. I remember my mother could not afford Christmas gifts, so one year a charity backed a moving truck to our home’s driveway, and it was full of Christmas gifts, and a Christmas tree so big that they had to cut it down in order for it for them to fit in in our front door. It took them what felt like hours to cut it down and put it in our tiny home. That day I told my mom I wanted to do that. She asked, “What, move trees?  I replied to my mother, “help people.” As long as I can remember I have tried to give back, and even as a leader at work I try to express the importance of giving back. Not just around the holidays, or if it is a competition, but all the time.

As a child, my mother worked so many nights and weekends and we did not get to see her enough. I thought if I was to get her attention, I would have to work extra hard, clean the house the best and get the best grades (my siblings and I made it a competition). When she would arrive home, she would smile and tell us how proud she was of us for doing our chores. What my mother did not know was that she was modeling certain behaviors that we began to model. Her work ethic was unmatched that three out of the four children she had still model today. My mother led us and did not realize what she was doing. My mother was just surviving. Trying to raise 4 children as a single mother, with just the financial support of my father. Simon Sinek said it best saying that leaders set the tone and subordinates will respond accordingly (Sinek, 2006). My little sister and I have tried to continue to immolate that similar behavior today as we continue to model those same behaviors in our household to date. Now, trauma, and some bumps in the road have stopped my other sibling from following the same pattern, but nevertheless in my eyes, my mother and women in my family continue to be the example of what a leader truly is.

 

Davis, R. (2020, October 27). Essence. Retrieved from Essence.com: https://www.essence.com/news/new-study-black-women-most-educated/

Schnall, M. (2020, August 17). Forbes. Retrieved from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/marianneschnall/2020/08/17/when-black-women-lead-we-all-win/?sh=7c06618b4513

Sinek, s. (2006, August 4). You Tube. Retrieved from You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP38Cxve5xY&t=2931s